Yes I do in fact. I consider myself an environmentalist. The fact that I wash my hands a lot does not discount that I love the environment and work to protect it. Washing compulsively does not negate the fact that I recycle, or compost, or buy products that are less processed. I am part of my university's environmental club, where people talk constantly about wasting water (taking shorter showers, buying new toilets that use less water, etc), and I constantly feel like a hypocrite because I cannot prevent myself from over-washing. People think it's mind over matter. But it really can't be boiled down that far, especially because my mind is the problem. People say to me "if you just put your mind to it, you won't have to perform your rituals." If only, if only.
I struggle a lot with trying to explain myself to people. Or to ignore the sometimes odd looks I receive. How do you explain something that seems irrational to even me?
Don't feel like a hypocrite! Even some well known environmentalists (ie - Al Gore) fly around in private jets. Imagine what that does to atmosphere. ;) All I'm saying, is that it's impossible to do something exactly perfectly all the time, even though OCD won't let us be comfortable unless we do. Give yourself some slack. You already do more than many people - and every little bit helps!
ReplyDeleteAs for explaining OCD to others who do not have it - that's a tough thing to do. I think it's one of those things that you just can't understand until you've lived with it.
Now, I'm not saying that you should revel in your compulsions. ;) But have compassion on yourself. Despite struggles you may have, you are still doing what you can to support a cause you believe in. Good for you!