Reviewing and Renewing

I just finished J.J. Keeler's book, I Hardly Ever Wash My Hands: The Other Side of OCD. It was quite awesome. My favorite thing about OCD literature is that every story is different. I love that. (As much as someone can love something as horrible as OCD). It's so interesting to hear another story and develop a greater understanding of the illness as a whole. Also, it's so true that people think of OCD as the hand-washing disease. People think of OCD as it is portrayed through the media (Monk - "the defective detective" -- not cool media, not cool). Because of this people rarely realize that OCD comes in many different forms.

The worst thing (in my opinion) that people can do when they notice a ritual, or something along that line, is to make the person feel like they are weird. This can be portrayed by saying things like "wow, that's super weird." Another thing that bothers me is when you're reading some OCD literature, or having a discussion with someone, and another person who is not privy to your private struggles comes over and says "oh hey, you're reading about OCD?" and the person you're with is like "yeah, Elle has really bad OCD." Thanks, faux-friend.

Sorry for that slight tirade. Long day. To end this post, I just want to say thanks J.J. Keeler for a great book!

Lost in Transition

Starting college is difficult for everyone. This is one of those common facts that your parents tell you when you call home at three in the morning begging for them to drive out and bring your favorite stuffed animal that of course you forgot. (It was most likely forgotten because you didn't realize it was going to be something you would want until you got to school and realized of course you could never live without Fluffy, the bunny rabbit). When talking to your new friends, you realize that they are having some of the same issues you have been dealing with: the new environment, making new friends, the cafeteria food that doesn't taste quite like mom's delicious cooking.... It feels good to know that everyone is going through the same thing you are, at least on some level.

Perhaps making new friends and handling the huge amount of work is something that comes easily for you. What doesn't come easily is being moved away from the place that you have control over. The house and town and school where your rituals feel at home. Perhaps the hardest thing about leaving home and entering a new environment is that every aspect that you used to control have been yanked out from under you and you're left feeling slightly like you're drowning.

To combat this you hyper-ritualize everything. You recreate all the things that made you feel comfortable and safe at home. You do these things privately to keep from judgement from your new peers, and you build yourself a nest of safety. These things help on some level, but as we all know OCD is a constantly evolving disorder that sometimes decides to rear it's ugly head at the worst possible moments.

For now, though, I am working on adapting and developing! My classes are good, I'm making new friends, and I'm learning how to live with my OCD.

Booked

So I ordered a book from Amazon called I Hardly Ever Wash My Hands: The Other Side of OCD by J.J. Keeler. I found out about this book from Shana, the writer of the blog: I am a mom. I have O.C.D. (Link provided below). I finally got the book in the mail and am extremely excited to sit down and read it. After opening it I could immediately tell it was going to be a good read, and that I would be able to relate.

http://momswithocd.blogspot.com/2012/07/book-review-i-hardly-ever-wash-my-hands.html#links

Stayed tuned for my thoughts on J.J's book later this week!

Post Number One

First post in my first blog. There is a lot of pressure to get it right, but I'll try to remain focused on the reason I have decided to create this blog, not the fact that I will be publishing for the entire world to see. Oh crap, now I'm nervous all over again.

Anyway. This blog is called "I have OCD, I'm not OCD." I think the title is quite accurate on two levels. First, in the grammatically correct sense. People always are saying "oh my god, I'm so OCD." Sorry folks, it doesn't work that way. Grammar rules require that you say "I have OCD" not "I am OCD." In another sense, having OCD does not define who I am, nor does it define who anyone is. It is just a facet of our personalities, nothing more! As Eleanor Roosevelt correctly stated "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." True life. Stigmatizing yourself with labels is bullshit!

I've decided to create this blog to connect with other people who have OCD, and to tell a little bit of my story, and give some perspective to other people going through similar things. I am a college student, a friend, a daughter, and also someone who struggles with OCD.